Sunday, 2 October 2011

"Fortune Telling"

Zoe decided she was ready to go home today, we have had a lovely time together and zoe is now rested and feeling much better.
Zoe has had to make some serious decisions lately and this has caused her to be suffering with anxiety.
Anxiety has a habit of creeping up on you so slowly that you do not realise you are suffering until you hit a wall and then the basic of daily life chores become a mammouth task. To make a decision, to be alone, to do the school run, housework, answering the phone, open mail all this becomes terrifying. Then sleep wont come and as each day comes in, you meet it with utter exhaustion.
I think most of us have suffered at sometime in our lives, there is no shame in this but of course the hardest thing is admitting it to yourself as your terrified people will think he or she is going mad. When the demons are at there worst and swamp you with nagative thoughts, you think you cant go another day feeling this way but there seems no way out.
When i bought zoe home thursday she was exhausted and nervous, but life here in our home is so slow and calm she just stayed close to her mama and very slowly her mind started to relax.
As soon as she felt alittle restful her tummy started rumbling for food, so ma"s famous cheese and tomato sandwhiches were made and was a big hit with the patient.
We went for gentle walks in the village and played in the garden with the grandchildren, we kept the weekend nice and simple as best you can with two small children. Zoe has realised she needs to put the brakes on and slow life down and stop "fortune telling", we are not suppose to know what next week has instore when we have not got to the end of this week!
This "one day at a time" saying is no easy fix, it has to be worked at,changes made and sometimes walk into the unknown for the first time, but when you walk at a steady pace its not so frightening.
I am very proud of Zoe, she has confronted some fears this weekend and realised that they were not as terrifiying when confronted as they were when they had her gripped in fearfulness.
Life never stops testing us, its how we come to deal with it that matters. A Day at a Time x