Last night, i sat infront of the fire starting to feel alittle dreamy, thinking " am i tired enough to go to my bed with a book?" I look at louie who is dozing on the sofa, thinking, he certainly is.
Of late i have not watched a great deal of television, anxiety sufferers can see and hear alot of negativity in the television and concentration can be very limited from day to day, so for me, i am careful.
Now this is the odd bit, i cautiously dared myself to flick through a couple of tame channels, when, i saw an Audience with Pete Andre, hosted by Piers Morgan, i like Piers Morgan, i find him interesting, funny,very real and above all he does not bully his guests but walks up to the line with compassion.
Pete Andre, nice person, could bore me after the first 10 minutes. So for the first 20 minutes of the programme, he was asked the same questions about his marrige break up, these questions did not interest me in the slightest but what did hold my concentration is HOW he answered these questions and keeping his private life details,private. In this, Peter Andre does not get upset or emotional but remains, calm and very in control of his emotions.
In the last 20 mins Peter Andre talks about himself, his time in two psychiatric hospitals, a violent incident that happened to him when he was 17 yrs old, how this has left him suffering with anxiety! WOW!
Piers askes him "what does a panic attack feel like? Peter Andre takes a minute to think about this,then the tears,emotion,fear and more tears came to the surface but no voice. Piers gives him time to recover, Peter Andre says "i thought i was going to die", he tells how his last two panic attacks have been 15 yrs apart!
He then says, how talking about the only woman he has ever loved, did not do this to him, but remembering that feeling of the panic attack can still reduce him to such fearful emotion, he then smiles and says " Dont get cocky with the Panic Attacks! I understood this, infact i am now at a point where its only,peter,piers and i talking and listening, i have forgotten about louie on the sofa and the cat wanting to be let out!
Finally he tells, that he has learnt that panic,anxiety is based on fear (this incident when he was 17 yrs old) triggered that fear, how he finds dating and intimate relationships scarey as he fears being hurt.
I then realised and i guess that is what he was saying, it does not matter about wealth, he has to keep himself safe and go at a steady pace and work hard at doing so to cope with his anxieties just like the next sufferer who has finally come to accept and lift the lid of there insecurities.
What a brave man to do this on national t.v (i struggled to tell my husband) and what a kind man piers morgan is as for a short moment there he had Peter Andre in the palm of his hand through vunrability and could of wiped the floor with him, but no he felt his guests pain.x