Wednesday, 29 February 2012

My homespun cushion...

Yesterday i started this cushion cover, i need to use up some of my material, i took my time and finished it this afternoon, i am really happy with it.
I added alittle embroidery to give it that homespun look,
Zoe and Eva came over this afternoon, Eva being off school with slapcheek, she is on the mend but her school does not want her back until monday.
Eva looks just like "half pint" from little house on the prarie, its good to see her happy again, she looked poorly at the weekend. x

Monday, 27 February 2012

I have the camera back...

I have missed using the camera over the last few days, Milly needed it for college.
Yesterday Zoe and grandchildren came over for dinner but our Eva was alittle poorly, so i made her cosy on the sofa and quickly took this picture of her;
Oh bless her, i felt guilty taking the photo!!!
Nothing wrong with the boy!! Ha!
Milly left her photos on the camera, she has taken these for her photography course work, i never knew i had such a ballsy gal. On the other side of town, near where our Zoe lives, there is a bunker, its a listed building, this was originally built for government officials in case of a nuclear war!
It all looks very eerie, i think that was the look she was wanting.

Oh my word, would you walk in?
Honestly this girl of mine was never out of her mamas apron pocket as a child, now look at her!
Now i have my hands on the camera for a while i will be clicking away, tomorrow my sister and i are working on her garden, i can not wait, i love spending time with her, she is so full of energy in mind and hilarious! They say tomorrow is going to be sunshine. x

Sunday, 26 February 2012

My new blog title...

Another small change i have been wanting to make...my blog title!
I chose "One day at a time" as it was my nan's funeral song, you see i could not let go of her.
In the small time i have been blogging i have learnt so much, made changes and want to take my own direction in my life.
I chose "Roses around the door" because thats how i want my life to be, i am well aware life gives you testing times but Roses around the door means, to, be kind to myself, love my family,work hard at everything i do, love my faith and be kind to others.
Life has to go at a slow pace for me, we live in a village that is very sleepy and nobody really rushes to get from a to b, this way suits us.
So" Roses around the door" means that slow simple way of living. x

Saturday, 25 February 2012

Mother nature...

Yesterday i went to see my counselor D.H, it kinda always turns out that we never talk about what i set out to discuss. Yesterday went that same way, i felt very emotional afterwards but i realised alot about why i feel the way i do about certain people and some situations i find myself in sometimes.
I left D.H with jaw dropping realization of how my thoughts and thinking patterns work, i had jelly legs walking back to the car, trying not to think to much until i got to safe ground, home, and then go over what i had just learnt about myself. I knew there was a cry stuck in my throat but the tears would not come, i was not ready.
I called my mum early afternoon, i always want to talk to her after i have seen D.H, i called, no answer, the relief when i heard louie put his key in the door, but the tears would still not come.
I rang my mum early evening, told her about my time with D.H and how i felt, tears came streaming down my face and i could taste their saltiness on my lips and then at last came my cry, my mum listened and i told her my fears and then what did she do?
She gave me a one liner that only i guess a mama could say and i BURST into laughter!
"you liked that one,didn't you" she replied, Oh! only a mum could do that! I was still laughing to myself today!
This morning i went to the garden centre, bought my wild flower seed, came home and potted about in the garden. I walked to the bottom of our garden and saw mother nature had called by, for there was a large patch of snowdrops which i have never planted, maybe the previous owner had, but we have lived here for five years.
The snowdrops lifted me in only a way nature can.
I felt alittle tired today, if i am honest a little fretful but i know this is what change feels like before it becomes normal.x

Thursday, 23 February 2012

I had a lovely day with our Zoe, we had breakfast together as zoe came over after taking Eva and lou lou man to school.
We then went on to our favourite place that sells all kinds of second hand bric a brac and furniture.The morning went so quick, this afternoon i potted about the house and managed to do my ironing with the patio door open in the kitchen, i loved the smell of my laundry, straight off the line on to my ironing board!
Tomorrow i am going to the garden centre to buy a large bag of wild flower seeds, i am going to give an area of my grass to wild flowers and when the flowers and grass are high enough, with a lawn mower i will cut in pathways from one seating area to another.
The seed we sowed in the garden last year has now established into a carpet of green grass, this is my canvas for planting,designing my country garden.
I have designed it that i have three sections of garden flow into one another, all three will be planted very country garden, with an illusion that you will not be able to see the bottom of the garden from the court yard garden i will create when walking out of the kitchen door, you will have to walk through all gardens to get the wow factor!!
All sounds very impressive when i talk like this, hopfully i can pull it off!! x

Wednesday, 22 February 2012

Changes...

I keep making small changes to my blog design,  slowly slowly i am creating the look i want it to be, homely,funny,honest, when people pass by i want them to see something that makes them feel they want to stay awhile and have a read.
Life feels like that at the moment, i am in myself also making changes, slowly. I welcome the changes i am making, the hardest part is trying not to hurt anyone with my honesty.
Sometimes we let people assume,take you for granted that you will always put up with another's behavoir when its hurting our feelings.
When people manipulate us and then call it love, you walk away thinking "i know this is not love" by the way it makes you feel.
I guess i am learning about self worth, knowing i deserve to be treat in an honest decent manner, as we all do.
I am only just starting to try to unravel years of manipulation as a child in which i was told was love. I am also working on the here and now, working at letting go of situations i cannot change and are not mine to carry, working at stop fearing the future and enjoy today.
Ok a small change i know but here it is, HAIR, i have always always wanted long hair, i look after my hair,i use nice gentle products but i keep it short.
WHY? As a child it was a punishment to cut my hair, i mean sometimes homemade short short, so growing up with no self worth it never occurred to me i could grow it long! Now i am thinking, should women of a certain age have their hair long?
See how i have been taught how i do not deserve long hair! Well here goes i am going for it, i am going to give it ago and grow my hair long, the girl is making changes!!!!!
After my operation in november i was left with two scars, one in the crease of my armpit and another on the edge of my breast, both about 3" long, i was advised by the hospital to keep them moisturised daily, i have a routine now where i moisturise morning and evening with a good cream, i never miss a day, 3 months on, these scars are shrinking before my eyes and the skin feels so soft, what is this teaching me? To look after myself, if i do this i will heal, i am getting the message slowly.
Its learning to take care of yourself. x

Tuesday, 21 February 2012

Laughter & Lunch!

Today my mum took my sister and i out for lunch, what a lovely day!
Life has tested us as a family and as individuals, again i find myself questioning how much detail do you give the blogging world, sometimes it helps others to read other peoples difficult and happy times. Ok, some detail coming up, but the sensitives area i hold private. My sister and i were seperated at a young age, i never saw her again until i was 14 yrs old,i have no memory of my mama before the age of 14.
Since the age of 14 i have been in and out of my mum and sisters lives, all my choice, not always understanding my emotions and feelings.
Today my relationship with them feels like going home, we are truly blessed to be where we are today with one another and we all know this.
My sister, next to my daughters is one of the kindest people i know, i love her so much and i always have even before we were seperated. My mama, well people do not come along more amazing than her, life has tested her many times, sometimes at the hands of others and sometimes by her own conviction, coming through all this she has learnt  forgiveness at its highest level, my mama is 67 yrs old works three full days aweek, bikes to work and back, and above all, loves and supports her family with all her being.
Now her mind is razor sharp and her sense of humour borders crankiness with the greatest of wit!
We let her loose with the camera today, she could not stop when she found the button, this is her handy work;
I look like i am sitting on a drawing pin and my sister looks like she is going to wet her pants!
These are the best two, i had to delete the others!
Once i have the camera back and it looked like at one point she was not going to stop clicking away.
This is my mama, the photographer!
This is my sister, she is pure kindness, i adore her.
I will go to my bed tonight and say my prayers, thanking him above for these people that love me and give my thank you's for a lovely day.x

Friday, 17 February 2012

A little light on the matter...

I took Milly and Jake out for lunch today, how easy conversation is when you sit facing one another across a table. The kitchen table has alway's been and still is so important to our family life, over the year's its where we eat,listen,debate,hold family meeting's, where argument's amongest the children got resolved.  I would not interfere if the children did not agree with one another, but when i could see that they could not come to their own conclusion's and make peace with one another i would step in, i would ask all of my family to sit round the table. These were my rule's and still are my rule's; everybody gets a turn to speak without being interupted, we all listen, no pointing,swearing or any raised voice's. On most occasion's issues would get resolved, an apology made and accepted.
Sounds simple,NO, on the very few times answers could not be found, maybe someone was hurting to much, we would have to agree that more time is needed. That was hard to see one of the children's feelings hurting or their anger still simmering, but the family table meeting's were alway's a success in the case that which ever one was struggling we could give advice for them to take or leave and most important they got heard.
Sometimes it was enough just to throw alitte bit of light on matters.
Talking of lights, i bought a new tea light lantern today in the shape of a house, its beautiful, i have put it on the kitchen window sill, i love candle light flickering through the kitchen window. The pioneer woman, would put candles in the window after dark so their men folk could find their way home.
Or is it  a church?
The kitchen is starting to have a homely pretty feel. x

Thursday, 16 February 2012

Peace

                  Heavenly Father 
when i have a peaceful attitude,it's so much easier to cope.
May Your perfect peace,which passes all understanding,
                  fill my soul today.Amen.
Zoe and grandchildren headed for home this morning after our pancakes and homemade juice, i washed dishes and got started on cleaning our kitchen window and glass doors.
This is never a chore for me, i opened  window and door's, i could here the bird's singing, the weather was milder than it has been for a few week's, it was a pleasure to work outside.
One thing led to another as it sometimes does when you start cleaning, next, was to change the kitchen curtains.
Then to give my lovely white basket our jade bought me,a purpose, i decided to put this on the dresser, which will hold the tea towels. After all cleaning was done i have made a homemade cottage pie from last night's left over roast lamb, then i could hear our dog whining for his walk, so on with the wellies and off we trotted down the lane.
I have pottered nicely today, just doing those odd job's that have been calling me gently in my own time, i love being at home, BUT i do have to push myself to venture out everyday as my anxiety would keep me at home all the time and thats not good for me.
Our Milly told me this morning that its Mental Health week this week, people who suffer may appear to be so different from what some call normalitiy, but what is normal? Who is normal? We have all suffered stress at some point in our lives and behaved out of character, is this Mental Health? I think so, i suffer with anxiety at times and have to take small foot steps to keep my day as simple as i can.It help's so much to be listened to and understood.
My clean window,

My new kitchen curtain's ( well not so new, they are second hand from a vintage shop).


I love my dresser, this was second hand to, i gave it a lick of paint and slightly sanded it to give a slight worn look. It symbolises Home to me. x


Wednesday, 15 February 2012

Roast lamb and an evening with family...

Zoe and grandchildren are staying over tonight, i have cooked roast lamb with garlic,rosemary and anchovies, zoe's favourite!
Since january when louie went through our finances and said we have to food shop more cautiously, i agreed to buy our meat from a certain supermarket, i have always bought meat from a very good butchers, yes its a touch more expensive but the qualitiy of meat was very good.
Tonights lamb was from a supermarket, i thought it was alittle tough. When we all finished our meal i thought someone is going to say "the meat was alittle tough",  Zoe said "ma thats the nicest roast lamb i have eaten in age's" and squashed any chance of me returning back to my old shopping ways!!!!!!! Especially as louie sat nodding in agreement with her while lapping up the last bit of gravy on his plate!
Then it was time to play, before bedtime.

Eva loves her dudey, she only has it now before bedtime.

Big lou and little lou,

Jade came over this evening which was a surprise visit, jade bought me the lovely basket in the background, what a lovely daughter she is.
Eva and lou lou man tucked up cosy in bed at their nanies house, i love that feeling! x

Tuesday, 14 February 2012

Lots and lots of love...

Louie and i tell each other everyday we love one another, i do not and have never really got excited about valentines day, but i see why some people do.
This plant in the picture always reminds me of our zoe, when she was about 17 yrs old, we sat in our garden having a heart to heart, i told her to follow me down the garden i have something magical to show you. The sun was just setting and there was that lovely comforting shadow you get at that time in the evening, i lead zoe with her eyes closed to my heart shaped flower, when she opened her eyes she could not believe what she was seeing! This flower never ceases to amaze me, its the magic of nature, such beauty!
Wishing everyone who calls by my blog today, a magical day in the name of love. x
I love him.

To know her is to love her. x

Monday, 13 February 2012

My Book has arrived!!!

This morning i had an appointment with the doctor to discuss my therapy for anxiety, we chatted and discussed my feelings after having my recent health issue. My doctor offered me information on a book that might benefit me on an emotional level after going through my health trauma, i declined, not because i am in denial as to what has happened but i know me and this is not something i myself would benefit from. We are all different in how we cope with lifes challanges.
After my appointment which went very well, i set about errands i had to make, and could not wait to get home and make a cuppa tea while secretly hoping my book has arrived through the post!
I walk through our front door and my eyes fall down to our doormat, no little parcel waiting for me, if i am honest i did feel a twang of disapointment. Oh well must unpack the food shop, wash the fridge out and try my new floor soap on the kitchen floor tiles.
Then i heard the flap of the letter box and a thud on the floor, yes, i thought thats me book!!! ha!
I tore at the parcel envelope to reveal my book and immediatly got the magazine feeling, for those that do not know this, i get so excited i can not actually look inside, i have to leave it where i can see it for awhile! It sometimes takes me a month to read a magazine!!
As soon as i open my little amish book of inspiring thoughts and my eyes dance over the most delightful pictures i think this is a book i will benefit from.
My book is called "A celebration of the simple life" its beautiful.
                                 
                          Attitude of Acceptance
                  It's not easy to accept some things;
                 We often worry,grumble, and fret.
                       How much better it would be
                  If we trusted God instead of getting upset.
                       An attitude of acceptance
                       Gives one a sense of peace.
                  When we trust God to know what's best for us,
                      Our anxiety and tension will cease.
Each page gives an inspiring thought like above, a beautiful picture followed by alittle story and a prayer.x

Sunday, 12 February 2012

My thoughts on this gentle sunday...

Changing my bedsheets to make a warm and cosy bed.
Cleaning kitchen windows  and changing kitchen curtains.
Finish sewing our Eva's skirt.
Making a skirt for Courtney and Olivia.
How much i love louie.
How much i love my mum and how grateful i am to have her in my life.
Cooking roast dinner for our zoe and grandchildren this week.
spring sunshine.
I am safe and its ok to believe this.
my amish book coming through my letter box any day.
God.
My jade.
Peg faries.
My thoughts have been kind to me today and as i get ready for bed i think of milky coffee with a drop of irish whiskey and off i go to bed. x  
   
                   

Saturday, 11 February 2012

A Gentle moment...

Milly came home from work this evening, she seemed so sad, this is not like our la (this being her pet name). I hugged her and asked whats wrong, this had la in tears.
In walks her dad, whats wrong la? The result a few more tears! Ok sit down with your dad he says, i busy myself in the kitchen but have radar ears on full alert.
I listen to him over the next half hour gently gently peel the layers back from milly's dilema to reveal whats really making her so emotional, i tell you it was a touching work of art! Once issue was out in the open he set about comforting her and helping her to make her decision, by this time both la and her dad are totally unaware i am in the room!
Do i make a cuppa tea at this point? If i make tea at the wrong time i could spoil this precious moment, i decided to wait until one of them realises i am even there!!!
Louie and i both came from families where our voices never got heard, we certainly felt as children that we never had choices.
Louie experienced great poverty as a child, for myself as a child i experienced abandonment and no voice.
Watching louie, showing our la that her feelings in the moment was so important that he made her feel he stopped the world from spining until he could help her confront her issue.
How do you do this when you have not been shown this yourself?
Finally they see me and i know this is my que to make the tea!
I love him so much.
La and her dad, she seems so little.
Our little girl growing up,

At the bottom of our garden, she is so arty.

The student,
Our girl x

The house was full today!

Our house was full today, my son, Daniel came over with his partner and my two grandaughters Courtney and Olivia,my daughter Zoe with grandchildren Eva, Lou Lou man and my daughter jade. I do not get to see jade in the week as she works, jade is one of the funniest people i know, if jades around you will always see people laughing!
My two beautiful grandaughters, they love to see each other.
Lou Lou man could not wait to go out and get the logs with his Ga!
When they all got together it was time to play" i can make you laugh" game, with auntie jade playing the fool!
Then it was Eva's turn!
Then it was Lou Lou man's turn.
I had the best job, holding our beautiful Olivia.
The macaroni cheese was a hit with the natives,
Daniel cooked the sausages.
My two big girls,
My son Daniel.
What a lovely lovely day. x

Friday, 10 February 2012

A cake made from love...



I have made this cake, thinking about all my family. I know thats an old vintage fish knife but its perfect for cutting sponge cake x

A sprinkling of something....

Last night the weather man said, we would be minus something with a sprinkling of snow,
early evening the weather dipped and yes it started to snow gently, after an hour gently became large snow flakes and this went on for another hour or two. It certainly was not a sprinkling and in our little corner of the world, last weeks snow still lays, in the form of ice.
Zoe lives in town and they hardly had any snow!
This morning i took pictures of our milly's view from her bedroom window.
A winter wonderland view!
Milly's bedroom has the best view, i have offered to swap with her, giving milly our room with ensuite (yet to be finished) but she is not having any of it, neither do i blame her, her view is beautiful all year round!
Tomorrow i have four of my five grandchildren coming over, my son and my girls, i have baked a cake but i fret that there will not be much of the cake left if milly and louie find it hidden in the pantry!!! x

Thursday, 9 February 2012

What a lovely day!!!!!

I have had a lovely lovely day, today.
 My daughter Zoe came over to pick me up this morning and we set off to town, to do some shopping and stop and have lunch.
I have needed some new clothes for a while, but i always use to put myself at the bottom of the list, this use to frustrate louie and my girls.
Not anymore, life is changing
When the children were younger i always made sure we were all dressed nicely and i always took care of my apperance, nothing over the top, but i seemed to care more for myself. I do not know what happened to allow myself to think i was not worthy of new clothes and alittle make up from time to time. When you feel good about yourself, its such a lovely feeling, good for the soul, i guess.
My three girls have always known their self worth and always make sure they feel good in their apperance, even if its jeans and a T shirt day, they always look beautiful and i tell them so every time i see them.
So what did i buy today, Oh grikey i certainly went to town by my usual estimations, underwear,skirt,blouse,T shirts (2 infact), housecoat (cath kidson!!),handbag (much needed),perfume and nail varnish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I treat Zoe to lunch, she got to choose where, at this particular cafe Zoe always chooses the macaroni cheese, has done since she was a teenager and i never choose it but always wish i had ha!
Looks alot when i put it all together,
The bag is made by a spanish designer, i got it half price in the sale, the perfume is from m&s and the nail varnish is a nude colour.
I love the housecoat, i will rinse it in water and white vinegar, white vinegar is the best softner, diluted with water.


I love the skirt and blouse!


I am thrilled with my treats, at one point i picked up a wrap cardigan, i thought the tag said £19.99, put it in my basket thinking how beautiful it was, when i got to the till the lady rang up £199.00 on the till, i nearly fainted with shock, i made my apologies and asked her to remove it! It was made of cashmere wool! Ha! x