Monday, 6 February 2012

Letting Go...

I have had a nice day today, cleaned my kitchen, took a walk through our village (in the snowy slush), worked on our eva's skirt. While doing all these things my mind was a little clouded, i gave great thought to a friendship i have had for many years. The last 3 months have been the most testing time of my life, i have felt many emotions,shock,terror,fear,gratefullness,relief and tiredness and all through this my friend never once picked up the phone. We text about 4 times over this time but i got to thinking, my friend never picks up the phone, it was always me who would do the calling.
A true friendship has to be a two way street, today made me realise how different we have become in ourselves and how we both live our lives.
I realised i have to let this friendship go with love, as my friend does not know me , the woman i am today and we both have very little in common with each other.
My life is very simple today and i have become such a private person, at times to private that this has hindered me socially but i am working on that one, anxiety loves a prisoner!!
I understand my friend and i have just taken different roads, our friendship deserves honesty, so here i am letting go with love, wishing my dear friend all the good that life can bring her and myself an understanding that people change and that is not to be taken personally. x

2 comments:

  1. jackie, we seem to be living a parallel life in regards to this post. there is nothing more impersonal than to email or text and NOT pick up a phone. there is something to be said about the lack thereof. go where your heart tells you to go and with no regrets. none. nada. sometimes there are forks in a road for reasons...and the reasons should not result in any anxiety on your part.

    hugs to you,
    becky

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  2. Funny you should write that Jackie, I have a few "friends" who I have stopped phoning and texting in the past few months too! One of whom I regularly bump into while car pooling her child, it is a one way arrangement, ie I drive her child back from an after school club because I am going that way anyway thus she doesn't need to join in, but she regularly says "phone me if you fancy doing x or y" and I keep thinking, why can't you phone me? It's tricky but I do think sometimes you drift apart and often friends don't realise who has been doing the work to keep a friendship together. When one slows down the other doesn't know that it might be their turn to step up! My easiest friends are still my old school friends, as we can go months and months without seeing each other but when we are back together it's like putting on your old slippers. It's the stuff they just know about you and your history that I like. Also, oldly, they never look any older unlike the friends I have made since school who do age. It must be a trick of the mind but one I like!

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