Sunday, 17 June 2012

Today is fathers day, i called my dad this morning wishing him a happy day.
Louie and i are taking louies mum out for lunch later today and we will also see our girls today.
Louie and i were up and showered early this morning as our plumber is fitting our new bath in, this was the only day he could do this as he is off on holiday this coming week.
We hope to put our house up for sale in about 3 weeks, all our money is tied up in our house and we decided we need to have control of our monies, we will be down sizing as we do not use all our space. We have a very large garden, when we would be just as happy with a court yard style garden. Now i know moving house is up there on top of the stress list but i am going to try to look at this in a exciting way and wish who ever buys our house...happy days.
I had my 2nd therapy session on friday, its still an assesment stage, he gives me homework to do, mainly keeping a record of day to day activities.
My therapist told me i scored having a moderate depression and not severe, which i was pleased to hear.
I have decided to make a scrap book of pictures of how i would like our next home to be decorated, i think this will make the move alittle more exciting and would also be a distraction from my anxieties.
Louie and i have made what was a very dreary house, forgotton by time into a very light and beautiful home.
We have suffered hardships in the five years we have lived here, our daughter jade suffered violence by her boyfriend at that time, louies brother took his life and i was diagnosed with stage 1 breast cancer.
We have also experienced lovely times, two of my grandchildren were mum and my sister are back in my life and i know wounds have been healed for all of us.
Today jade is a strong young woman full of life,she is in a very loving relationship, her career is moving up into a job she always dreamed of, travelling europe and japan in august.
Louies brother is in the safe hands of jesus where i know he will be forgiven.
Thankfully my cancer had not spread to any glands and i have now been discharged from hospital with a screening plan, my surgeon told me its highly unlikely i will ever need surgery again.
I look ay my mum and thank God she is my mum as her words are so wise and her heart is just full of love for all that are around her.
My mum says this house gave us shelter in those difficult days, she is so right.
I know who ever buys our house will be happy here.
In the mean time i am going to work hard at my therapy, look for a new home, i have a feeling it might be a newly built home as we have no wish to renovate again!!!!!!!
The first thing i will buy myself is a bike, so i can bike into town on a sunday morning and go to the craft market and vegtable stalls.
Wishing you all a lovely day X

Wednesday, 13 June 2012

I read the blogs i follow most evenings, i also check my stats now and again and i can see people still call by.
At this present moment i am suffering with depression, its not a black hole, its feeling anxious most of the time, mornings are the hardest.
I have agreed to take medication, this not being the cure but alittle crutch to help me on my way.
I have also decided to have therapy, its called cognitive therapy, it helps you think things through in a positive way and helps you to look at your anxieties.
I started my therapy last week, its an hour a week for up to 12-16 weeks depending how you go. My therapist is a man called Adrian, thankfully i felt comfortable with him which is always a good start. He done most of the talking, explaining how it all works, he assures me we will work at a pace that i am comfortable with.
At times it seems like i have mountains to climb, evenings seem easier than the days.
I will keep you updated, thank you for reading my blog. x