Wednesday, 22 October 2014

Setting boundaries...

The past few day's have been emotional for my family,we attended Louie's brothers funeral on Monday, louie and I found the service in church very comforting. It was while we were in church that I realised that I need to reset my boundaries and be kind and considerate to myself and others in order to be able to recharge our batteries. Notice when I say "myself and others" I put myself first, this is because if you do not recharge your own battery first how can you help others?
My anxiety levels are still quite high in the mornings when I awake, I am giving myself time to have a cup of tea and focus gently on my plans for the day, now is not the time to set myself goals that are to big as this just adds chaos to an already unsettled mind.
Over the last couple of evenings I have looked through a couple of my favourite cookery books and chose some recipes I would like to make, so out came my pen and paper and thus i started my shopping list.
Autumn is such a lovely time to home bake with everything that's in season, it goes without saying that buying a  Pumpkin was at the top of the list!:)
Living in a quite village on the edge of town has so many positives but sometimes being at home all day the silence can be very difficult when I am feeling anxious and alone with my own thoughts while doing my chores, so I have to nurse myself sometimes. I light my scented candles, put the radio on low, I do not like daytime t.v, I even choose a nice smelling dish detergent so washing dishes and kitchen work tops becomes more enjoyable, these little acts is me setting boundaries and being kind to myself.
After all anxiety is just a thought, a somewhat uncomfortable thought at times but nevertheless with a little kindness and knowing our limits we can cope. I take a tablet daily (in the mornings) to help give me a little crutch to lean on, for a long time I resented this little white pill but I am now at a place of acceptance,is it forever? I don't know, I just know its for today.x

Friday, 17 October 2014

Living with anxiety and being tested...

I make no secret that for a number of years I live on a daily basis with anxiety, some days are better than other's. I have to keep myself very grounded and I do try to read daily something spiritual and Godly I do find this helpful.
Anxiety is not depression and I feel people do sometimes get the two conditions mixed up, for me the mornings are the most uncomfortable and I really need to know the night before my plans for the next day.
Life cannot always go to plan and there are times when we get tested beyond our belief.
One evening two weeks ago after we had been in bed an hour I heard the landline ring, its all a bit hazy now but it was a phone call to tell us louies eldest brother had taken his own life, I cannot tell you how numbing this feels especially as louies younger brother took his own life four years ago.
My anxiety levels are very high and some days I am taking the day hour by hour, I want to stay strong for my family, my two eldest girls are heavily pregnant and I try to keep a calm comforting atmosphere in our home.
I feel exhausted much of the time, I know this is due to how I am feeling, I seem to have lost my daily routine, my chores I like to do at home.
I am thankful that although we are finding this time in our lives difficult to understand we have no anger or judgement, our hearts are sad,but we know we must come to term with what is happening.
I do believe we learn the most lessons in trying times.
Please I ask for healing prayers for my family and others who are going through difficult times. x

Sunday, 20 July 2014

Oh the heat!

This heat has really slowed me down, i try to slow my pace and just keep doing my chores bit by bit.
This week i had some dental treatment, as i have become older i have developed a fearfulness for the dentist, but i made myself a promise at the beginning of the year that i would face my fears. So this week i had two root canal fillings, i paid for a private practice as they offered sedation and i jumped to this!
It took two hours and my dear sister waited in the waiting room for me as i could not drive after sedation. I have to have part two of the treatment and have it all done again!
I also have my yearly mammogram this friday, i feel alittle nervous but am always grateful after i have been.
This afternoon our daughter zoe and family came over to spend the afternoon in the garden, i had bought them a new paddling pool which they loved, here are some photos...













Friday, 11 July 2014

This and that...

Louie and i have just spent a few day's in cormwall, its a long drive but well worth the journey:)
our view from our apartment,
the scenery was beautiful,
it was lovely to spend time together.
I seem to keep myself busy at home, gardening,sewing and keeping home.I take photos alot of the time,i will share a few...





Now we are back home its time to get back in my routine, which,i love! :)

Friday, 30 May 2014

My week...

I had plans to make bunting and work in the garden, with louie home this week it kind of threw me out of my routine, i could not work in the garden because of the rain so i just kept things simple for this week.
Earlier this week i managed to have a couple of hours to myself, i needed to make a few errands and found myself in yet another shop looking in the bargain corner for cookery books!
I saw this lovely photo on a cover of a book, and yes it was a beautiful cookery book with the most simple recipes and each page had a vintage flare to it, i told myself i could not afford it and put it back, while i was quietly arguing with myself i picked it up again and looked for the price, oh i thought it was my birthday, it was £1 i could not believe it and to think i was going to walk away from it.
I decided to bake a chocolate cake using one of the recipes,
I was pleased with the results, you use duck eggs and i was one duck egg short :)
This was my cake,
I used my much loved mega mix,
I also made time to make a few homemade concoctions for cleaning a much needed clean oven,
I made a paste and left it overnight using damp kitchen paper,
Look how clean it is now,
I took this photo of myself in my much loved apron,
Tomorrow i plan to do more baking using my much loved new book :)

Monday, 26 May 2014

Bank holiday weekend...

Well its rained pretty much all weekend!
There is much going on in our little dwelling we call home. Last wednesday i planned to take our jade and milly out for lunch, just as we were walking out the front door my ankle gave way and i fell to the ground, the pain took my breath away for a few seconds.I had to go to hospital and have a xray much to my annoyance but i was grateful it was only a sprained ankle and not a fracture!
Friday louie was booked into hospital to have key hole surgery on his elbow, something he had been putting off for a few months, we are both doing ok, i am limping and louie is walking with arm in a sling, the walking wounded!
We also have two charming young men students staying with us, my first time having boy's and i do think they are easier than girls, they do not seem to have the food issues that young girls have.
I am itching to work out in the garden but instead i have been looking for ideas on pinterest, my first time i have looked on this site, this is what i have found...
I love it and have been thinking about it all day, thinking how to build it, its a must have!! :)

Sunday, 18 May 2014

In the garden...

I have been working in the garden these past few day's,i have planted some much loved plants and picked beautiful smelling flowers for the kitchen :)
flowers for the table
This afternoon we had a family get together, zoe's partner cooked on the bbq, it was lovely to be together.
Our daughter zoe has been suffering with hayfever, which is not something she suffers with normally,we just wanted to cheer her up today.
I had bought our Eva and lou lou man a new inflatable swimming pool but realised this morning we did not have the right adapter!
We pumped up their little baby pool, they still seemed to have much fun,


Our jade and ian, jade seems to be blooming in her pregnancy
There was a little sillyness, ian showing the children how to do handstands :)
Lastly this beautiful picture of our Eva with her daddy, she loves him so much,
We have had a lovely day, it feels like summer :)

Friday, 16 May 2014

The last couple of day's...

How lovely have the last couple of day's been, i have been working in the garden and walking our dog over the fields.
This is our lane that leads to open fields
the farmer lets us walk our dogs on his land as long as we stay around the edge.
The cow parsley smelt delightful.
Back home it was time to do rather a lot of weeding and planting new plants, our garden is to big for us to buy all the plants we need and would like,so, every year we add more plants and this spreads the cost over time.
Last weekend louie bought me a tray of foxgloves, one of my favourite plants,
I walk on our lawn bare footed, it felt good, we so often need to be grounded and this is such a good way.


My little corner of the world :)

Wednesday, 14 May 2014

My mums birthday celebration...

My mum is 70 this month and she chose for my sister and i to take her to West mersea island, she loves the sea food there. This was a first for me, we loved it.
West mersea is a working harbour, they have a small shed where their catch is cooked and sold to the public.
This the sign in the window :)
Once inside you there is a very relaxed atmosphere, the decor is very basic with a kind of simplistic charm. You bring your own drinks and bread with you, then you order from the menu which changes daily due to what is caught that day. The sea is just outside the back door!
My mum and i shared a plate of oysters, they were delightful,
My sister had scallops, they looked mouth watering :)
We all had the tiger prawns, the aroma was amazing!
When i was expecting our milly i took a liking for jellied eels and have loved then ever since,so, it goes without saying i just had to try them.
We thanked God for our time together and the lovely food on our table.
After our bellies were full we headed for the beach,

I take a paddle in the sea in my wellies
My sister took this photo of me,
This was a beautiful day and we are ever grateful to be together x

Sunday, 11 May 2014

I am allowed to tell...








My two big girls Zoe and jade are BOTH expecting babies, their due dates are three days apart!! They are both due to have their babies in november.We are all so very excited, i just wanted to share these photos of them, my two lovely big girls xx