Friday, 17 October 2014

Living with anxiety and being tested...

I make no secret that for a number of years I live on a daily basis with anxiety, some days are better than other's. I have to keep myself very grounded and I do try to read daily something spiritual and Godly I do find this helpful.
Anxiety is not depression and I feel people do sometimes get the two conditions mixed up, for me the mornings are the most uncomfortable and I really need to know the night before my plans for the next day.
Life cannot always go to plan and there are times when we get tested beyond our belief.
One evening two weeks ago after we had been in bed an hour I heard the landline ring, its all a bit hazy now but it was a phone call to tell us louies eldest brother had taken his own life, I cannot tell you how numbing this feels especially as louies younger brother took his own life four years ago.
My anxiety levels are very high and some days I am taking the day hour by hour, I want to stay strong for my family, my two eldest girls are heavily pregnant and I try to keep a calm comforting atmosphere in our home.
I feel exhausted much of the time, I know this is due to how I am feeling, I seem to have lost my daily routine, my chores I like to do at home.
I am thankful that although we are finding this time in our lives difficult to understand we have no anger or judgement, our hearts are sad,but we know we must come to term with what is happening.
I do believe we learn the most lessons in trying times.
Please I ask for healing prayers for my family and others who are going through difficult times. x