Tuesday, 27 January 2015

Finding my own road...

This evening I have finally gave in and decided to write my blog, life has been a little difficult for the past month.
My anxiety has reappeared leaving me feeling very anxious at certain times of the day, mainly mornings.
Life took a dip before Christmas, I met up with an old friend, she lives in Australia and came over to visit family, it was really lovely to see her we chatted about our lives and bought each other up to date on where we are in our lives. My friend asked me if I still took a daily tablet for my anxiety attacks, I told her I did, with this she went into great detail how tablets do not work, you are avoiding the main issues that make you feel anxious on and on her words went, I felt like I was shrinking into my chair, no words could I say, I felt numb with confusion.
I felt so confused that in my self doubting I decided to slowly taper off my tablet, what a mistake!! I totally gave my confidence away, I never took into consideration that I am in the early stages of the menopause I just jumped in feet first because of someone's opinion.
My anxiety's came back full force, scared to leave the house but anxious to stay home alone, panicky flushes in the mornings, the day seems endlessly long.
I am now on a  new tablet, I am slowly finding my own path again, I went swimming early sunday morning and I have walked our dog down the lane these last two mornings :)
Tomorrow I hope to go swimming again, I am still not completely comfortable staying at home on my own all day, I get a little sinking feeling when I put my key in the door, this makes me a little sad as I love my home.
I know in time life will come good again, but I have learnt such a lesson in all this, whats right for me may not be for another, I just want to find MY road again, here's to swimming tomorrow, I have missed my blogging world x