Monday, 15 June 2015

And so my new journey begins...

Its no coincidence of the books I read, the blogs I enjoy, the places I seem to find myself visiting.
Ever since I can remember there has been a stirring in me that I longed to listen to but never could understand.
I realise my nan was always trying to coax this side of me to come to the surface, my nan was a wonderful woman and like many of her generation she had great hindsight having raised children in those war years.
I had my first child at the tender age of sixteen, I have been in a relationship with my husband since I was sixteen, so those development years for me were very different to the average young girl.
I was terrified of being judged by society or failing as a mother I thought I would become Wonder woman!!
The home had to be as near immaculate as I could make it, I doted on the children thinking that what if I buy them a push bike they might fall off and hurt themselves, it was always this kind of thinking.
Soon I was to have four children under the age of fifteen, busy busy, looking back I did not stand still to take a breathe. I just kept pushing that stirring in me further down.
We were living in town, life bought its highs and lows, sometimes I felt trapped and lost in the shuffle, we bought our first home and then decided to buy and sell houses for the next ten years, always run down houses and bought them back to life while living in them, so in a sense our children were brought up in building sites.
Moving years forward to the last few months, louie losing a second brother to suicide and us having two new grandchildren all this happened within eight weeks, I finally stood still and took a deep breathe.
Finally I listened to me, what was important to me, how different a person I really am to the person I thought I should be...at last.
simplifying your life is more than buying the Country Living magazine once a month, I am learning to grocery shop, cook, organise, grow vegetables, budget and put money by.
This is happening slowly.
I have been learning about home made cleaners and am slowly introducing this to my home, something I have longed to do. I am listening to my beliefs, family is still my number one priority but so is the environment and the people I choose to live with.
I hope I have not waffled to much and bored you :)
I have made my first cream cleanser for the kitchen, the sink is shining and smells wonderful, No chemicals!
The fairy has got to go :))))))